Saturday, March 7, 2009

The WC adventures in India

Ok so I have been in India a week now and I have to anouce that I have yet to take a solid dump in this country... I guess someone heard me when I was preying for the shit to come out when I was constipated with worms.

Well thanks GOD but too much too late!!!

More Mumbai (Bombay)

Rich kids from a privite school confortably playing criket on the "public" grounds.

The slums next to the "public" grounds where are the kids can watch a sport that would take them almost two years of begging to afford a bat (not a ball) to play with.

Most common form of transportation in India...the infamous rickshaw.

I was in a Bollywood movie as a back up dancer and some of my costars....sorry because the movie is still filming so NO pics of ANY of the scenes....The movie is called 'Blue' with Kylie Monogue. Look for me in the gold skirt and black top in the night club :)

I am sorry to all in the world this will offend. YES Indian food give you the runs like there is no tommorrow. Yes I like the poverty so as I can have a cheap meal, but YES INDIAN FOOD IS THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 'real' slum dogs of Mumbai

What can I say...

You know what I have been thinking about. We (the tourists) like this poverty, isn't that what we come here to see?!?!? If not that, we come here because it is so cheap and why is it so cheap??? Because of THIS poverty. It is actually sick really. Why don't so many millions of travellers go to Germany each year? Because noone can "find themself" in Germany...hmmm can you tell I have had a negative couple days.

I could take hundreds of photos a day of scenes like this.

How do you walk by this to work every day, or worse drive in a ferari to work by this EVERYday?


Friday, March 6, 2009

Around Mumbai...

The hottest fucking pepper I have ever had the pleasure to taste. Honestly how is this legal!?!?!

My face for THREE HOURS after mistaking that pepper for a date. This pic was taken about 45 mins and two liters of water later. Tourist be warned!

Street girl at Mumbai bay...

Street Grandma at Mumbai bay, the girl's future perhaps... Will it ever end?

You have NEVER lived until you drive around Mumbai on a motorcycle of course if you do you MUST accept death as a serious possibility :)

views from the train

Thank god I am tall. Enough said.

the only way to get that many people in the train is if at LEAST five to ten of those people have SOME kind of body part sticking out of it. Seriously.

You wouldn't believe the things that are happening as the train is going you see it all on the tracks. People collecting garbage, pissing (well that is all over India so nothing specical here), building houses, taking a shower, cows taking a nap (which explains HALF the train accidents here), and people hoping the train. It is truly amazing!!!

This was such an amazing experience really to see all the sights that you just wouldn't and couldn't see on the train tracks in other countries. About four seconds after I took this pic I put my hand down and saw a post heading straight for my head. Thank god I got my eight hours the previous night so I had my Indian-quick reactions to pull my head back in.

No seat no problem this space comes with el natural air conditioning!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Images from the Mumbai

This is the hand-rail view from a Mumbai train at rush hour.

See what I was talking about!?!?!

I am not sure if that is insulting to cancer patients, Astological Cancers, both, or just a misunderstanding... remind me to ask someone :)

I tried to ask if he (the dog) was in the ticket line but then I remembered there are no such things in India so I just walked in front of him.

A ferari in Mumbai....ummm sorry but where the fuck did that come from??

Monday, March 2, 2009

Surviving India...

So one of the first people I met here was a French-Canadian who was on his way home after a three month journey accross India. In his first statements to me was an observation he had that here cows are treated better than women...

I had to ride the local train out of Mumbai during evening rush hour one day and it was complete maddness. I thought Japan's railways were crowded in rush hour as they even pay people, 'white hands', to shove all the passangers in so the doors can close. Well Mumbai makes Japan look like a spectators queue at an Estonian water polo match (even though it is illegal I am going to try to get a picture of this one of these days as you got to see it to believe it!). There was one point where every single part of my body was being touched by people standing next to me (and thank god for the 'ladies only' compartment so it was ONLY women who had been invading every centimetre of personal space I had!) If you want to disembark you must start to make you way to the doors starting at LEAST two stops before yours or you will NEVER make it out while the train is stoped. Most people jump on and off while the train is still moving anyway but if you haven't started the inertia flowing toward the ever open compartment doors before the train comes to a complete stop, you get bombared with the embarking herd of people on a mission from ALL the GODS to get on THIS train right NOW. My fellow lady riders were so sweet to pass on these railway survival tips to me before my stop came. One adorable little lady told me I need to go to the door "now or you'll never get off". I asked her if it was like this everyday and she corrected me to say it was like this for her twice everyday both to and from her work place. I said she must be a strong women...she responded with "here, you have to be strong".
I realized the truth in this statement as I was taking the step down from the train to the platform, the herd came against me so hard I was almost trampled. Thanks to my love of dancing I could catch my step and I gained my footing, buy only to be shoved over by the littlest, oldest lady I ever saw!! And after jumping over me she continued to move as the train started to pick up speed and that little old lady ran along the train until she took hold of the doorside bar and hung mostly outside the compartment until she made space by shoving others out of the way with her one free hand.
And then there was me...patetic, weak, young western lady kneeling on the edge of the platform in complete awe of what was just witnessed. I could only take a second to take it all in as the next crowd was gathering. As I walked out of the station battered and brusied I looked down as three street dogs who had earlier been taking a nap on the stairs decided to start their night to search for food and take over the streets of Mumbai.
Survival of the fittest...

I decided to avoid the crowds yesterday and travel back after "rush hour" I took the 11:13 PM train out of Mumbai to the suburb I am staying. At 11:13 at night the train was JUST as packed as Taiwan's during RUSH HOUR- so you could imagine my previous experience!!!